I'm up because I can't sleep. I've been awake since 4:00AM.
Christmas Eve can be like that.
My mind is racing with so many things that need to be done TODAY. Because, fyi, tomorrow is Christmas.
I feel like my son's ADHD has taken over my entire body. I can't sleep, but I really can't function either.
So, on what should be a day of reflecting on this special season has turned into a sleepless, anxiety filled, stress marathon of useless activity.
Granted, a lot of it is my own fault. I tend to procrastinate.
I found these cool Minecraft shoes on Pinterest and thought, these would make a fabulous gift for child #3. I bought all of the supplies, including the shoes back in October. I even painted one of the shoes in November. I didn't finish it, but it looked good sitting out, and child #3 could glace upon his Christmas gift and ask me if it would ever be finished.
Oh, I finished it all right. I finished them this morning at 5:30AM before anyone was out of bed. And they didn't turn out good at all. In fact, they look horrible. But they are done. I'm just hoping they are dry before he wakes up. I would love to have them wrapped and under the tree. He may just forget about the shoes that have been half painted for over a month and be really surprised when he opens them. Probably not, but everyone can dream on Christmas.
And how many other things are going to be like this today? Probably everything. There is no meal planned for tomorrow. The house isn't clean and I have no idea what the kids are going to wear to church tonight because laundry hasn't been done for over a week.
So, finally, in my angst filled early morning, I opened the Word and read about the birth of Christ.
And guess what? The world wasn't ready for the Christ child to arrive. I'm sure the cave where Mary gave birth wasn't clean and since they had been traveling for awhile, Mary probably hadn't done any laundry on the way to Bethlehem. Joseph certainly didn't put on a clean tunic just for the arrival of the baby Jesus.
In all of my preparations to get ready for the "day", I am causing my family to miss out on the JOY of the entire season. While I want the focus to be on our Lord and Savior, it is my own attention to meaningless details that keep my mind from focusing on the true meaning of Christmas.
As I prayed and asked forgiveness for my selfishness, and also asked to change my focus to Him alone, I felt so much anger and frustration lifted from my shoulders.
Now with a new peace I will restart my day.
I wish you all His peace and joy this Christmas Season.