Recently we hit a rough patch in our marriage.
And for those of you who are thinking, "Oh, that's too bad. I love my husband/wife so much. I can't even imagine fighting with them." You all can shut your mouth right now, because you are LYING.
Here's the thing: BEING MARRIED IS HARD WORK.
It's work. It's a lot of work and you have to be willing to put in the effort.
So, when the times arrive, and they will, where you are tired of each other, work, the kids, the carpools, the laundry, the evenings and weekends spent at different children's sporting events/practices/classes/activities, you stop connecting with your spouse. Mostly because you just don't have time for each other.
Keep this in mind, before I go on; we've been married almost 20 years. We've had rough spots before. Again, it happens. We both know it happens. We both know we will work through the difficult time and be stronger from the experience. We know that we are 100% committed to each other and our marriage. Knowing this does not make it easier.
For example, we just came off of a really fabulous holiday season. I mean, my Christmas present was a trip to Vegas to see Justin Timberlake. Just the two of us! How great is that?
But you know how when you are on vacation and everything is perfect and then you arrive back home and REAL LIFE sets back in. That part sucks.
Back to real life and homework, and practices, and carpools, and work, and paying bills, and housework, and grocery shopping, and the piles of laundry. And after the first day back at home and all 5 kids come home from school with, get this, HOMEWORK, and I'm still doing laundry from Christmas Eve, and nobody made dinner and somebody didn't have a great day at work, well, sometimes it is just the beginning.
Because then you add in basketball practices and dance classes Monday-Friday evenings and weekend tournaments, and the results are not good. At least, not for us and our family.
So then, what do you do?
Seriously...what do you do?
Our basketball season just ended. We are both relieved. Relieved. How sad is that?
And, don't get me wrong, WE LOVE watching our children do anything that they love. For our family it's dance, basketball, and soccer.
But being too busy (as it has been), too committed to kids teams (because it is a commitment) along with daily life and work has left us NO TIME together. And by together, I mean alone, with NO CHILDREN. There have been entire weekends where we see each other in the morning over breakfast and then again crawling into bed, too tired to even recap the highlights of the game or performance.
One of my goals in life is to raise children who will be kind, respectful, independent, and productive adults, who will eventually move out of my house.
My bigger goal is to still be married to their father when they are gone. And by married, I mean happily married.
I have no real resolution for this post.
The good news,the rough patch is over. The bad news, there will be another one.
But then, that's all a part of life. This glorious, exciting, exhausting, challenging life.