Sunday, September 28, 2014

Everything I Say Ends in "Oui?"

Three months into having five children and I've learned a few things.

You can NEVER have too much bacon in the house.
          "What do you want for breakfast?"
            "What would you like in your lunch?"
               "What do you want for a snack?"
                  "What should we make for dinner?"
The answer is ALWAYS bacon.

Roasting two chickens at one time is not enough food for even two nights.
Roasting tons of vegetables with two chickens is enough to last for weeks.

All children like Cola.

Glass elevators are really scary.
I mean, glass elevators are super fun.

Movie theaters are dark and loud. (Really should have thought this one through beforehand.)

Everyone loves music and everyone loves to dance.

Homework is homework and nobody wants to do it. EVER.

Shooting a gun is innate to every boy.

Everything I say ends in "Oui?" 
      Would you like some bacon, oui?
        It's time for school, oui?
          I really need you to sit down and start your homework, oui?

My black hair braiding skills are slowly becoming acceptable to my daughter. (It is a completely new skill set.)

All little girls need a daddy to dote on them.

All little boys need a daddy to lead them by example.

Every child wants to be loved.
       Love won't cure every child.
         Pain and heartache can seemingly last forever.

A mother's heart can be broken every single day. 
       And, then, mended every single night as you watch your children sleep.  


Change is hard.

We knew adding two more children to our family would be challenging. We did not enter into this adoption blind. We've done this before. We knew what to expect and we knew to have absolutely no expectations.

We are quickly emerging from our cocooning state. It didn't last as long as we thought, again, expectations. These new kids slipped right into family life and routine.

Our older kids, not so much.

Three and a half years is a long time to wait for siblings.

It gives you way too much time to create all kinds of scenarios in your mind of what they will be like. How much fun you will have together. How you are going to teach them all about Star Wars, and X-Box, and basketball, and dance. How sharing a room is going to be the Best Thing Ever!

You create all kinds of Expectations.

Then, when they do finally arrive home your life is never the same.

Immediately you think, this isn't fun. The new kids demand a lot of attention. They whine and even cry, sometimes for hours (seriously hours). They copy everything you say and when they talk to each other in creole you are 100% sure they are making fun of you.

You find out that your new brother doesn't like Star Wars (how is this even possible?). He prefers soccer over basketball, and could care less about the X-Box. Your new sister follows you around all day long. She won't leave you alone. Ever. And, sharing your bedroom SUCKS!

You ask when the kids are going back to Haiti, and get upset when you find out the answer is never. Adoption is forever. Just like you, these kids are here to stay.

But, bit by bit, day by day, you discover these new kids might not be so bad.

Your new brother loves the Avengers! In fact he watches the movie everyday, sometimes in French. He also loves wearing your costumes and running around shooting nerf guns. A couple of months in, you find he actually prefers the Wii over the X-Box.

That little sister? She just wants to play. If she's bugging you too much, you learn to hand her a doll or a gun (whatever) and suddenly she is golden.

And slowly, while not without struggle, you learn that change can be good.
And, that your life will never be the same.
And, that's ok.
You think.