Mini-Horse

So, daddy went golfing (see previous post) and all of the sudden my ADD totally kicked into 4th gear.

Daddy doesn't travel for his work, so he's rarely gone.  It's really nice, because our family functions best with both parents around all the time. 

But when he is gone, I get really restless.  I feel like we should all be doing something fun.  Getting the kids ready for school by myself is not fun.  Taking them to Disneyland is fun. So I started checking airline tickets.  It was really expensive.  No Disney.

Then I thought, I should pull the carpet off the stairs.  I've been wanting to take the carpet off the stairs for awhile, so if I got it off then daddy could take care of the stairs when he gets home from his golf trip.

Daddy really doesn't like to come home from his golf trip and find that I've created a huge job for him. Once when he was golfing I painted the fireplace.  Only I couldn't reach the top so when he got home he had to finish the paint job.  Another time, when he was golfing, I took down all of the kitchen cupboard doors and emptied all the cabinets so when he got back we could repaint the kitchen.

The carpet on the stairs would not come off.  Not even a corner. 

Then I thought, we should get a mini-horse.  They are really cute and somebody in the neighborhood has one and walks it around.  The kids would love a mini-horse.  They live outside and make good pets. (I read all about it on the Internet)  Mini-horses are really expensive, just FYI, unless you find one on Craigslist, but those people want to trade their mini-horses for other livestock, of which I have none.

The mini-horse was looking like my best option for the weekend, until Daddy called and said "no way" to the mini-horse, leaving his children very sad. 

So, no stairs, no mini-horse, no trip to Disney. 
Instead, I organized the refrigerator, freezer, hall closet, garage, and bedroom.  And we saw the movie OZ. 

Next golf trip I'm looking into teacup piglets.

WTF

"What the fudge mom!" spoke my darling 11 year old as we were leaving the school one afternoon.
Fighting back the urge to backhand him, I turned around and said, "what did you just say?"

"I said what the fudge.  Fudge, mom, Fudge.  It's okay because it's not the f-word. Fudge starts with "F", but it's not THE f-word, so it's ok.  Jeez mom."

Me, "Um, no, it's not okay to say that, ever.  I mean it, don't talk like that."

Child, "Jeez mom, I was just mad.  It's not a big deal."


This is what is says to me.  It's totally different with his dad.

"Dad, dad, do you remember that one time in the car when you said, What the F... and then you said the F-word.  Do you remember dad?  It was so bad."

Now, daddy is very calm in situations such as these.  While the rest of us were laughing, daddy went on to say, "I told you I was sorry.  I told you I was sorry that I said a bad word, and you should never talk like that.  Remember how we talked about it?"

And then I thought, wow, what a great example.  Daddy immediately apologized and said he was wrong to his child.  His child saw a daddy be completely human, make a mistake, and then apologize for the mistake. 

I think I need to take some lessons from daddy.

Evidently I Have Anxiety

Evidently I have anxiety.  I know this because a doctor told me.  He told my I was completely healthy and therefore the pain on the left side of my chest was from my anxiety. 

I was having a lot of pain in my chest.  On the left side (that's the bad side to have pain). It was a stabbing pain that would come and go, and I wasn't too worried about it because I am very healthy.

But it the pain kept coming back.  The stabbing pain and then just a dull achy feeling. 

My husband thought I was totally fine, while my mom said I should probably go see the doctor since it been hurting for three days.  My mom is a nurse, so I went with her opinion.

The doctor's office got me in right away.  They do that if you have chest pain around your heart area.  I had to go in early for an EKG so they could make sure my heart was still beating.

Then I had to wait to see the doctor.  I had to wait because they couldn't get me in to see my doctor because she was super busy and booked all day, so I would see some other doctor who I didn't know.

Whatever, I'm really healthy, so no big deal.

And here's where it gets interesting.  The doctor I saw was totally tall, dark, and hansome and I was thinking, hmmm, I don't really want him to be my doctor, because there is no way I am getting undressed for this man.

And then he went over my EKG and said it was fine.  And all of my tests show I'm really healthy, and I don't have any history of heart disease.  And that I have anxiety. 

I said "really?"
He said, "yes, you have a history of depression and anxiety, is anything new happening right now?"
And then my mom pipes up, (yes my mother was there, she's a nurse) "well, hubby did just leave to go golfing, it could be related."

Doctor says "golfing, hmmm". Only he said it really dreamy like he would rather be golfing.
I said, "yes he went golfing and left me with his children."
Doctor said, "where did he go golfing?"

Really?  Is that important?

So I said, "I think it's my thyroid."
Doctor, "You want your thyroid checked?"
Me, "Yes, I want a thyroid test.  The real thyroid test."
Doctor,"Ok, I'll make sure they don't give you the fake thyroid test."
Me, "I want the Oprah thyroid test."
Doctor, "You want the OTT?  Got it."

Then I said something about my thyroid being screwed up and I read all about it on WebMD.
Doctor, "You can't believe everything you read on the Internet."  Then he got all smug and said, "I'm a french model.  Bonjour."
And then my mom started cracking up. 
And I was ready to go.

Me, "So I'm totally healthy?"
Doctor, "Yes, except for your anxiety.  You can increase your meds and see if it helps."
Me, "So when my chest keeps hurting my anti-depressants are going to help?"
Doctor, "If your chest keeps hurting, then you need to come back."

So we left.  And my mom was laughing and laughing and I finally asked her what was so funny.
Mom, "I just don't think that doctor knew what to do with you."

Great.
FYI- my thyroid is just fine and my chest still hurts and I'm pretty sure I have ADD.