Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Evidently I Have Anxiety

Evidently I have anxiety.  I know this because a doctor told me.  He told my I was completely healthy and therefore the pain on the left side of my chest was from my anxiety. 

I was having a lot of pain in my chest.  On the left side (that's the bad side to have pain). It was a stabbing pain that would come and go, and I wasn't too worried about it because I am very healthy.

But it the pain kept coming back.  The stabbing pain and then just a dull achy feeling. 

My husband thought I was totally fine, while my mom said I should probably go see the doctor since it been hurting for three days.  My mom is a nurse, so I went with her opinion.

The doctor's office got me in right away.  They do that if you have chest pain around your heart area.  I had to go in early for an EKG so they could make sure my heart was still beating.

Then I had to wait to see the doctor.  I had to wait because they couldn't get me in to see my doctor because she was super busy and booked all day, so I would see some other doctor who I didn't know.

Whatever, I'm really healthy, so no big deal.

And here's where it gets interesting.  The doctor I saw was totally tall, dark, and hansome and I was thinking, hmmm, I don't really want him to be my doctor, because there is no way I am getting undressed for this man.

And then he went over my EKG and said it was fine.  And all of my tests show I'm really healthy, and I don't have any history of heart disease.  And that I have anxiety. 

I said "really?"
He said, "yes, you have a history of depression and anxiety, is anything new happening right now?"
And then my mom pipes up, (yes my mother was there, she's a nurse) "well, hubby did just leave to go golfing, it could be related."

Doctor says "golfing, hmmm". Only he said it really dreamy like he would rather be golfing.
I said, "yes he went golfing and left me with his children."
Doctor said, "where did he go golfing?"

Really?  Is that important?

So I said, "I think it's my thyroid."
Doctor, "You want your thyroid checked?"
Me, "Yes, I want a thyroid test.  The real thyroid test."
Doctor,"Ok, I'll make sure they don't give you the fake thyroid test."
Me, "I want the Oprah thyroid test."
Doctor, "You want the OTT?  Got it."

Then I said something about my thyroid being screwed up and I read all about it on WebMD.
Doctor, "You can't believe everything you read on the Internet."  Then he got all smug and said, "I'm a french model.  Bonjour."
And then my mom started cracking up. 
And I was ready to go.

Me, "So I'm totally healthy?"
Doctor, "Yes, except for your anxiety.  You can increase your meds and see if it helps."
Me, "So when my chest keeps hurting my anti-depressants are going to help?"
Doctor, "If your chest keeps hurting, then you need to come back."

So we left.  And my mom was laughing and laughing and I finally asked her what was so funny.
Mom, "I just don't think that doctor knew what to do with you."

FYI- my thyroid is just fine and my chest still hurts and I'm pretty sure I have ADD.

1 comment:

  1. Did the doctor really say he was a French model?